Who would have thought that inanimate objects have a gender. This is truly hilarious.
You may not know that many non-living things have a
gender. For example:
1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold
everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but
can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often
over-inflated.
4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of
course, there's the hot air component.
5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and
retain water.
6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to
pick people up.
8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can
shift to the bottom.
9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the
last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be
Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd
be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the
right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Some really funny stuff!!!!
Point well taken
I have been thinking about my last post a lot lately. I was already feeling convicted for being a jerk in the post, even though you will prolly never meet the guy I was talking about. Raheel's comment really drove it home for me. Being offended by a person's comments is one thing, but ranting and raving about an "injustice" that has done is a entirely different. I have since removed my post because I left it was innappropriate to be published on the Internet. I also just wanna say thanks to Raheel for always watching out for my spiritual condition and not just letting things slide.
Sincerest Apologies to anyone I might have offended,
JJ
Sincerest Apologies to anyone I might have offended,
JJ
Sunday, October 17, 2004
What the heck is going on?
That is what you may be asking me, mostly because I haven't blogged in like a month. Well I have some material now and am going to talk.
First off I would like to say, I love swing dancing and I don't care if you think it's homosexual, its fun. Second I would like to say "Team America: World Police," is a horribly offensive film and you should never see it. I saw and I am truly ashamed of it. Third I would like to dispell any rumors right now. For some reason I am continuing to be asked by people if I'm voting for Kerry. Each and every person asks me this because they heard somewhere that I'm anti-Bush. This is just not true. I think Bush has done a fantastic job, and will continue to do so in the next four years. Plus I can only imagine the chaos that will ensue if Kerry wins. But if our soverign God appoints John Kerry to the office of the president, I will render all due respect to the office of the president.
On an unrelated side note I would like to point out that John Kerry won three purple hearts in Vietnam.
The question that burns my buns right now, is what is "Christian Community?" And what role do we play in those "Christian Communities." Well, the answer to the first question I believe is, a group of Christians who share in fellowship with each other and God. Now questions about fellowship could be raised, but we won't because I don't wanna. The next burning question is, "What is our role in Christian Community?" I want to dodge this question and really just say my part on what is not our role. I would say that our role is not to desire relationships within the community that we do not have. Let me clarify,
On an unrelated side note, Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.
What I mean by desiring relationships other than those we have really means, If we accept our God as soverign, and also that he is omnipotent, and always does exactly what brings him the most glory, then the relationships that we have with others within a Christian community are set up that way for God's most possible glory. Does this apply only to guy-gal relationships, no. In fact I would say that this is a totally seperate issue. I am not talking about guy-gal relationships at all. I am talking about our friendships and how we relate to each other. I would like to use an example from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He says in his book, Life Together,
"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enter the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. he stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure."
On an unrelated side not, Dan Rather is stupid.
OK, let me tell you what he is not saying first. I realize that you, reading this blog, have probably not read the entire book so the context could be fuzzy. He is not saying that having a dream about what your relationships with people could be wrong. What he is saying is that having an overwelming desire for your community to be a particular way without thanking God for what he has set up is wrong. For example, to push a hot button, "missions." Dietrich would argue that a desire for your entire community to have a single desire about missions, specifically your desire, and not thank God for what he has already set up is wrong. Politics applies too. It doesn't have to be just "spiritual issues." If we desire anything more than what God has given us and set up in his scripture then we are incorrect. THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEBER IS THIS ALL GOES WITHOUT THANKING GOD FOR THE COMMUNITY WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN. There is nothing wrong with desiring a community to have a passion for something, but we have to remeber that God has set up our relationships and desires for his utmost glory and we should first and foremost, thank our soverign maker for giving us these relationships before we impress our own standards of what our community should be. So next time you wish people would lighten up and take a joke, or play less video games, or go on a short term mission, or care about politics, or "insert favorite issue here." Remember to thank God for what he has given you first.
On an unrelated side note, I am the coolest guy ever
JJ
P.S. The "unrelated side notes" are just that. Don't read into them
First off I would like to say, I love swing dancing and I don't care if you think it's homosexual, its fun. Second I would like to say "Team America: World Police," is a horribly offensive film and you should never see it. I saw and I am truly ashamed of it. Third I would like to dispell any rumors right now. For some reason I am continuing to be asked by people if I'm voting for Kerry. Each and every person asks me this because they heard somewhere that I'm anti-Bush. This is just not true. I think Bush has done a fantastic job, and will continue to do so in the next four years. Plus I can only imagine the chaos that will ensue if Kerry wins. But if our soverign God appoints John Kerry to the office of the president, I will render all due respect to the office of the president.
On an unrelated side note I would like to point out that John Kerry won three purple hearts in Vietnam.
The question that burns my buns right now, is what is "Christian Community?" And what role do we play in those "Christian Communities." Well, the answer to the first question I believe is, a group of Christians who share in fellowship with each other and God. Now questions about fellowship could be raised, but we won't because I don't wanna. The next burning question is, "What is our role in Christian Community?" I want to dodge this question and really just say my part on what is not our role. I would say that our role is not to desire relationships within the community that we do not have. Let me clarify,
On an unrelated side note, Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.
What I mean by desiring relationships other than those we have really means, If we accept our God as soverign, and also that he is omnipotent, and always does exactly what brings him the most glory, then the relationships that we have with others within a Christian community are set up that way for God's most possible glory. Does this apply only to guy-gal relationships, no. In fact I would say that this is a totally seperate issue. I am not talking about guy-gal relationships at all. I am talking about our friendships and how we relate to each other. I would like to use an example from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He says in his book, Life Together,
"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enter the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. he stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure."
On an unrelated side not, Dan Rather is stupid.
OK, let me tell you what he is not saying first. I realize that you, reading this blog, have probably not read the entire book so the context could be fuzzy. He is not saying that having a dream about what your relationships with people could be wrong. What he is saying is that having an overwelming desire for your community to be a particular way without thanking God for what he has set up is wrong. For example, to push a hot button, "missions." Dietrich would argue that a desire for your entire community to have a single desire about missions, specifically your desire, and not thank God for what he has already set up is wrong. Politics applies too. It doesn't have to be just "spiritual issues." If we desire anything more than what God has given us and set up in his scripture then we are incorrect. THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEBER IS THIS ALL GOES WITHOUT THANKING GOD FOR THE COMMUNITY WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN. There is nothing wrong with desiring a community to have a passion for something, but we have to remeber that God has set up our relationships and desires for his utmost glory and we should first and foremost, thank our soverign maker for giving us these relationships before we impress our own standards of what our community should be. So next time you wish people would lighten up and take a joke, or play less video games, or go on a short term mission, or care about politics, or "insert favorite issue here." Remember to thank God for what he has given you first.
On an unrelated side note, I am the coolest guy ever
JJ
P.S. The "unrelated side notes" are just that. Don't read into them
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